How to be Unforgettable

How to Be Unforgettable

Can I tell you my worst nightmare?

I am 80-something years old and I am lying in a bed inside a hospital room. My breath is weak and I can barely open my eyes to see what is happening in the world around me.

The nurses walk in and out of the room and they barely look at me.

I have no real friends or relatives left to visit me. I am just an old man left alone in a hospital room.

I know that any minute now I’ll say farewell to this world and I’ll be gone forever.

I am scared, really scared.

I inevitably start to think about my life. What I have achieved, how many people I have met, how many lives I have impacted.

Life is a numbers game and my numbers are small.

I look back on my life and I only see regret.

Regret for the risks I didn’t take.

Regret for the times I gave up.

Regret for the fact that I was a random existence that no one will remember.

I knew that I was born alone and that I will die alone. But I didn’t want it to end like this.

My breath gets weaker, my body goes limp, my bowels release, and the heart monitor beside the bed flat lines.

And the earth keeps spinning, the universe keeps expanding, people come and go and I am just forgotten forever.

Did I just give you the willies?

I know I did but you can relax now.

I am still here and I am more alive than ever.

This isn’t actually my worst nightmare.

I believe that after all these years of reading and investing in my personal growth I have managed to face all my nightmares and I can’t really think of something that can intimidate me.

The reason however I decided to start my article this way is because I want to discuss the importance of living a life where our acts can support a really critical need – The need to be remembered.

Down deep, I believe all of us have a primal urge to be remembered, to pass something on to future generations, to leave some mark on the world saying, “I was here.”

If we’re being honest, I think that’s one of the most important reasons you are into self-development. You read all those books from renowned and successful people, you spent countless hours dissecting articles that show you ways to evolve as a person and you try to apply everything you learn to your everyday endeavors.

You do all these so that you can actually stand out from the crowd and transform from nobody to somebody – Somebody who will be remembered.

At least that’s the idea.

The reality, however, is quite different, isn’t it?

What actually happens is that you pour your heart and soul into your personal development and no one seems to care.

You try to discuss with your close friends the latest article you read on meditation and spiritual enlightenment and the only thing you get in return is yawns and disinterest.

You post a famous quote or an interesting research on your Facebook wall but no one responds. No comments, no likes, no shares, nothing.

You walk on the street wearing the new fancy clothes you bought in order to upgrade your style and you also pay attention to your every step in order to project the image of a confident and congruent man, but no one seems to notice.

And that’s disturbing.

When you put too much effort into sculpturing and refining your new persona day by day but no one seems to care you start to question everything, isn’t it?

The good news?

It can change. You just have to realize that changing yourself without being able to inspire this change into others, won’t really give you the attention you truly want.

If you want attention you have to be unforgettable.

You have to touch people so deeply, connect with them so powerfully that your ideas are burned into their minds.

Let me introduce you to the walking dead

Next time you walk down a busy street I want you to pay close attention to the people around you.

You will notice some very interesting cases:

You will see the girl constantly texting with her friends on WhatsApp.
You will see the nerdy guy playing some weird puzzle game on his smartphone.
You will see the old couple sitting next to each other on a bench with a look lost in the abyss.
You will see the corporate guy who just went off a phone call and is trying to hurriedly shovel food in his mouth so he can get back to a job he hates.

You think all these people are alive?

Unfortunately, they are not. They are like zombies moving around without a real purpose, acting passively on whatever their life throws at them.

And the real reason behind this?

They are bored out of their minds!

Just try and notice their eyes. They’re not even there. Somewhere along the way, their mind and heart and soul drifted off to sleep, and their body is operating on autopilot, keeping them alive until something interesting happens.

These are all people you will meet at some point in your life.

They are all prospect girlfriends, partners, friends or customers.

And guess what.

If you want interaction, interest and possibly even deep connection with them, you have to break them out of their stupor. You have to pump some freaking life back into their veins, so just for a few minutes, they can be human again.

Let’s talk about how..

There is so much life hidden inside every single person you meet

We are all random entities wandering around on a huge pile of chemical substances desperately looking for answers.

We don’t really know why we exist. Therefore our only purpose is to seek out activities that remind us how good it feels to be alive.

Some of us are lucky enough to be in tune with our inner explorer and we are aware of what it takes in order to satisfy our pleasure-driven nature.

Most of the people however aren’t.

They are lost in their pursuit of a vague idea of happiness and usually end up isolated and unsatisfied.

That’s where you come in.

You are the one who will turn their eyes from dull and glassy to shiny and filled with emotion.

You are the one who is going to overflow their bodies with vitality.

You are the one who is going to show them what it means to be alive.

Does this sound challenging?

Well, it should.

It’s not an easy thing to summon all the energy required to project your own reality onto another person, in order spark life inside of them.

What does even qualify you as the right person to attempt such a thing?

You are not a doctor, you are not a life coach and you are definitely not their therapist.

But you have something that many people miss.

You are an emotionally and socially intelligent person who has invested a ton of work into shaping his unique persona and you are ready to offer this persona to the world.

This is what makes you special.

This what gives you a competitive edge.

This is what makes you alive.

The only thing you need to add on top of all this is..

Excitement.

Excitement is contagious. It is this wonderfully crafted attribute that differentiates the good from the great, the successful from the super-successful and in some cases the millionaires from the billionaires.

Take a look at Tony Robbins for example:

Do you think that he says something special or pioneering?

Nope.

Everything he says has been expressed by countless other people throughout the history of mankind. Nevertheless, he is probably the most successful motivational speaker ever existed.

Why?

Because of the way he delivers his message.

He is a person full of excitement, energy, and drive.

If you attend any of his speeches, not only he will wake you up from the dead but also he will most probably unleash the hidden genius inside of you.

Tony Robbins isn’t the only case where the power of excitement manages to help the receptor feel alive.

You see it in movies you watch, in songs you hear and in books you read.

Think of Stephen King where you can’t help but feel how he enjoys telling stories of everyday people and their struggle to find the courage to stand up against the psychopathic baddies who threaten their worlds.

Think of Jim Morrison when he sings “People are Strange” and he manages to help you relate immensely with the emotion he feels in every word he delivers during the song.

Think of Chuck Palahniuk, who in Fight Club makes you feel the rage of an outcast who feels suppressed by societal norms and craves to break free, even if that means violence, blood, and death.

Or even think of this article and the way I make you feel while trying to help you realize what being unforgettable actually means.

It’s not a trickle of emotion. It’s a roaring flood, a tidal wave of feeling that lifts you up and carries you along for a ride.

It doesn’t only wake you up. It charges you up and sets your mind ready for something filled with excitement.

And that’s exactly what you want to achieve in any interaction with a person that interests you.

How to Be Unforgettable – It’s time to start taking yourself seriously

I think you waited long enough for others to identify your amazing capabilities.

I think it’s time to take action and show to the world who you really are.

And the secret to achieving all these lies in the delivery of your message.

When you decide to interact with a person, don’t just talk to them like you are a random dude they just met.

Don’t let yourself be absorbed by their mundane reality.

Doesn’t just be a supporting role in their story.

Set their freaking day on fire.

Talk to them with so much passion and enthusiasm they can’t stay asleep.

You want them to feel like somebody shocked them with a stun gun.

Because what you have to do is to bring them back to life. Maybe not forever, maybe not even for a day, but for an hour or two, give them such a charge they remember what it feels to be alive again.

So, do me a favor:

Next time you meet someone you like in a nightclub, don’t just talk to them – Set their night on fire.
Next time you meet new people at a party, don’t just stand there and wait for them to talk to you – Greet everyone with enthusiasm and become the soul of the party.
Next time you meet a person you admire don’t engage them from a place of neediness – Approach them from a place of abundance and show excitement about their work and the impact it has had in your life.
Next time you go to a coffee shop don’t just treat the cashier like a person who is just there to charge you for your coffee – Smile at them, thank them for their great service and wish them a great day.

And this is how to be unforgettable.

Now it’s time to get to work.

The world is waiting for you.

A great way to be unforgettable in your day-to-day life is via the “30 challenges – 30 days – zero excuses” project. Challenge 13 is about initiating small talk with strangers and can work as a great way to apply the knowledge introduced in this article.

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Adrian Martell

I am the founder and main contributor at "The Quintessential Mind" - A unique personal blog that offers a holistic approach to self-development. I am striving to create high-quality content by investing in a reality-based form of self-help, informed by a deep understanding of psychology, philosophy and my own personal experiences and social adventures.